Keeping Up Social-Emotional Learning (SEL) at Home

Dr. Joseph E. Colford, Ph.D.

School corridors are empty.  Students and teachers all are home-bound for the duration of the shelter-in-place requirements in response to the threats caused by the coronavirus.  Parents now become the primary supervisors of their children’s education. 

With few exceptions, school districts have set up video conferencing opportunities for children to resume their education online.  Teachers present lessons, give assignments, and expect homework to be completed in these virtual classrooms.  Parents are the ones to see to their
children’s compliance with these online directives.

Although this instructional format may work for the delivery of the core content material in the major subject areas of language arts, reading, math, social studies, and science, what about yet another critical subject: Social-Emotional Learning (SEL)? Even if there were structured SEL activities carried out each day in the classroom, how does that subject translate to an online format with individual children isolated in their own homes, far from the opportunity to interact with their peers in practicing those SEL elements?  After all, SEL includes socialization with classmates, a key component to practicing such things as self-control, relationship-building, responsible behavior, and interpersonal/communication skills.

It is at times like this when parents
might have to take the lead with SEL and become the instructors rather than
just the monitors of this vital subject. Incorporating some SEL components not
just into online lessons but also into the fabric of many stay-at-home hours
might just include some of the following:

  • Self-control/self-management: The value of routine and of a schedule of expected daily activities can assist children with their allocation of time at home.  It’s not that such a routine has to be lock-step and unchanging, but rather one that allows some deviation from time to time for engagement in other tasks.  As long as children know the value of such activities, the more likely they will be to accept them.  In fact, having children assist their parents in the development of a daily schedule will make it more likely that they will follow it. Here are some tips for daily schedules.
  • Relationship-building: With whom will some children be able to build relationships while separated from school and neighborhood peers?  Perhaps providing collaborative, rather than competitive, experiences in the home with siblings is a good place to start.  Keep in mind that age differences among siblings may determine how easily such cooperation can be fostered.  That is, children closer in age than three years may be a bit more competitive than those beyond that age span. Nevertheless, providing an incentive for such cooperative efforts can help.  Can the older sibling provide assistance in online school work for a younger sibling?  Can they negotiate who gets to pick the next television program?  And what an opportunity for children to practice empathy! How about talking with them and having them identify those friends or family members who may be particularly troubled by the current lockdown and having them come up with something to allay their discomfort: a phone call, a handwritten card or message dropped in the mail, or a prayerful moment in their behalf.
  • Responsible behavior: Reinforcing with children the importance of safe and healthy practices in the midst of the virus threat is essential.  Discussing with children all those safe practices that they undoubtedly have seen in the media over these last few weeks (hand washing, social distancing, hands away from face, etc.) is vital.  Additionally, opening up safe practices as a discussion point at home also will allow them to claim ownership of this need.  If given the opportunity to contribute their own thoughts on additional safe practices for the home and community, parents may be surprised to hear what ideas their children may come up with.    
  • Interpersonal/communication skills: In homes where there are siblings of different ages, it is important for parents to be able to demonstrate and reward these skills in their children.  They should be open and acknowledge from time to time how frustrating it is to have to be home-bound with no one else but each other to play/talk/interact with.  Parents will have to take the lead in allowing children to express such frustration in socially appropriate ways by showing them how it is done. Using “I” messages can be useful: “he” did not make me angry, rather “I” am mad because I wanted to watch something else on television. Encourage children to express their frustration about being sheltered in place without being judgmental and downplaying their feelings. Parents also should use these same “I” messages: “I” am disappointed that you haven’t completed the assigned school work; “I” am frustrated just like you are, so together we can make this new arrangement work. Find free resources from ChildWIN here.

In summary, parents can indeed bring SEL
into the home during these trying times. 
Since this new practice of shelter-in-place is a far cry from what
children prefer, it will take some time to redirect them to a routine thrust
upon them by this external virus threat. 

Parents also have some major adjustments to make in managing it all.  First, they must be aware of their own emotional reactions to the lockdown and be able to monitor their statements and other behaviors in front of the children.  This is not to say that they should deny their own level of anxiety with them, but rather they should send the message that they are able to cope with it.  The Center on Positive Behavioral Interventions and Supports (PBIS) provides three viable suggestions for parents as they create this new in-home classroom:

  1. When
    trying to change a child’s behavior, use a 5-to-1 ratio of positive
    interactions or praise to every negative interaction or corrective statement,
    whether it be for completing the online academic assignments in a timely manner
    or interacting in a positive way with a sibling. Teaching a new behavior
    involves a preponderance of positive feedback over negative.
  2. Remind
    children of the positive, pro-social behavior that is expected of them, even
    before it is expected. “Remember to wash your hands before you eat.”
  3. Teach
    alternative behavior in order to reduce undesirable behavior.  That is, let them know that they can fidget
    with a rubber ball or some other item rather than put their hands to their face
    during the crisis.

Joseph E. Colford, Ph.D., NJ Licensed Psychologist

Professor Emeritus, Georgian Court University

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January 4, 2022 No Comments

Liz Lugo

Liz Lugo began her career in Early Childhood Education in 2007 as an assistant teacher in infant, toddler, preschool, and school-age classrooms in New York. In 2014, she joined a District GNJK 5-star program as a paraprofessional and Community Parent Involvement Specialist. This role opened the door to a new path as project coordinator for the Monmouth County Council for Young Children, where she facilitated in training workshops and collaborated with school programs and various organizations to support educators and families. She joined Grow NJ Kids in 2023 as a Technical Assistance Specialist with the School District/Head Start team. She webinars delivering essential knowledge and develops Peer Learning Community presentations to empower educators to connect, reflect, and grow together. She takes pride in creating engaging, supportive learning environments where childhood professionals feel valued, equipped, and inspired. She has a bachelor’s degree in Technical Management from DeVry University.

Michelle Cumber

Michelle Cumber is the Community Education Specialist at PCA-NJ. She has over 14 years of experience as a child life specialist and a strong background in infant, child, and adolescent development. Michelle has worked extensively with individuals of varying abilities, including those facing mental, emotional, and physical challenges. She is a Certified Autism Healthcare Professional and has supported youth in the medical and educational settings. Michelle earned her bachelor’s degree in Family and Child Studies with a concentration as a child life specialist in 2010 and completed her Master’s degree in Child Advocacy and Policy in 2019. In addition to her clinical and educational expertise, Michelle is a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist and a Certified Educator of Infant Massage. She is also a Connections Matter New Jersey Facilitator, a Certified Positive Discipline Parent Educator, and is trained to provide Parent Cafés through Be Strong Families. Michelle has provided many presentations related to working with children and adolescents, including those related to child development, developmentally appropriate terminology, working with children during emergency situations, nurturing touch, and death and bereavement. Michelle’s work is grounded in a deep commitment to fostering resilience, connection and well-being in children and families.

Christine Boufford

Christine Boufford is employed by PCA-NJ as a Senior Technical Assistance Specialist for Grow NJ Kids, New Jersey’s Quality Rating Improvement System. She has worked in the Early Childhood Education field for over 35 years. Christine is passionate about providing training for all who care for children, including parents, teachers, and administrators. She is a trainer for Connections Matter, a healing-centered curriculum that teaches adults how to use the power of connections to help develop healthy brains and supportive relationships. Christine holds a Bachelor of Arts in History with a Concentration in Infant & Child Development from the University of Delaware.

Kristen McGarvey

Kristen McGarvey is a wife, mother of three and driven educator. She has combined her decade of experience as a teacher, with her passion for digital safety to create relatable and relevant presentations around the challenges that are plaguing our youth and parents today. 

 

Carrie Speiser

Carrie Speiser, MPA is the Director and Founder of BTrue2U, a movement to empower teens to be true to who they are, to love themselves and others, and to live healthy and well. She has 20 years of experience in violence prevention and working with youth and those who support them by educating about dating abuse, sexual violence, human trafficking, and child abuse. Carrie has a Master’s of Public Administration in Non-Profit Management from Seton Hall University and a Bachelor’s of Science in Human Services from the University of Hartford. She is a passionate advocate for youth and an empowerment enthusiast for mental wellness.

Maria Vasquez

Maria Vazquez has been working and supporting families in Essex County for over 10 years. She joined PCA-NJ in 2015 and is currently the Connecting NJ Coordinator with the Essex Pregnancy & Parenting Connection. She is also a member of ChildWIN and a trainer on topics including Healing Hearts and Building Resilience, Child abuse and neglect, and wellness and resilience in communities. Prior to joining PCA-NJ, Maria worked with the Healthy Families program in Essex County, NJ. In the support of children and families.

Jillian Faulk

Jillian Faulk is committed to improving the health and well-being of individuals, families, and communities. She earned a B.A. in African-American Studies and Photojournalism from Temple University prior to serving as a Peace Corps Volunteer in Botswana.

Jillian’s experience in Botswana led her to further her studies with an M.S. in Nonprofit Management with a concentration in Organizational Development from the New School. During her first pregnancy and breastfeeding experience, Jillian realized the importance of wellness beyond the physical, leading her to become certified in Kemetic Yoga and volunteering as a Chocolate Milk Café Facilitator.

Jillian is passionate about offering spaces for families to live their most fulfilling and joy-filled lives from birth onward. All her work is done through the lens of healing from trauma and finding strength within. Jillian has expanded her practice with training as a Holistic Health Coach, Prenatal Yoga, and lactation support. As a current Family Science and Human Development Doctoral student at Montclair State University, Jillian is looking forward to contributing to mental health programing that will address health disparities, particularly related to maternal and child health. Her mission is to learn, grow, and share various ways to heal and parent peacefully.

Victoria Spera

Victoria Spera-Ballesteros has over 10 years of experience in violence prevention and awareness, social justice education, community development, and public policy. She joined Prevent Child Abuse – New Jersey in 2017 and serves as a Program Coordinator within the PCA-NJ’s Community Engagement department. In her role, she engages with youth-serving professionals and community organizations with education, trainings, and technical assistance related to human trafficking prevention and youth resilience programming. She enjoys using her expertise to help partners build their capacity to serve and empower the youth and families of New Jersey.

Victoria is an experienced trainer on topics including domestic minor sex trafficking, prevention strategies, Adverse Childhood Experiences, child abuse and neglect, trauma-informed communities, youth empowerment, and community wellness and resiliency. She has been a proud member of the ChildWIN Training Team since its creation in 2019.

Victoria holds a Bachelor of Arts in psychology from West Chester University of Pennsylvania and a Master of International Development from the University of Pittsburgh Graduate School of Public and International Affairs.

Michael Peralta

Michael works at Prevent Child Abuse NJ as a Technical Assistance Specialist for Grow NJ Kids, our state’s initiative to raise the quality of child care and early learning throughout New Jersey. Before joining PCA-NJ, Michael was the School Age Services Unit Manager at La Casa de Don Pedro responsible for the implementation of La Casa’s Enrichment Program and 21st Century Community Learning Center, serving children between the ages of 5 to 12 years old. Prior to working at La Casa de Don Pedro, he worked at the National Institute for Early Education Research as an Assistant Project Coordinator. At NIEER, he assisted with the coordination of data collection and training for various research/evaluation projects that included preschool, infant/toddler and family child care programs throughout the country and abroad (Colombia and Ecuador). Prior to working at NIEER, Michael volunteered at a Head Start Center in New Brunswick and at Rutgers Developmental Disability Center in which he worked with children with Autism. Michael is passionate about children’s rights and being the voice that they do not have. His goal in life is to help ensure children have opportunities for a great childhood.

Elizabeth Paterno-Culp

Elizabeth Paterno-Culp joined the Prevent Child Abuse-NJ team in 2015. She is the Home Visitation Program Supervisor, where she provides ongoing technical assistance to the Healthy Families and Parents As Teachers programs across the state of New Jersey. Elizabeth is also the New Jersey State Lead trainer for Healthy Families America’s Foundations For Families Support training. Along with her day-to-day role at PCA-NJ, Elizabeth is a Child Wellness Institute (ChildWIN) team member. She serves as the Trauma Transformation Initiative trainer and coordinator, as well as the coordinator for the Youth Resilience and Leadership program. She also conducts training on topic areas such as child abuse and neglect prevention, intimate partner violence and child exposure, trauma 101, trauma informed-care, self-care, and resilience.

Elizabeth received her BA from Montclair State University with a degree in Family and Child Studies with a concentration in Family Services. She also received her Master’s in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Kean University and is a Licensed Associate Counselor.

Kelly McGlasson

I have been working in the field of early childhood education for over 25 years- as a developmental specialist in Early Intervention, a behavioral therapist, and a classroom teacher. As a preschool and elementary school Program Specialist, I trained teachers on classroom management, sensory integration techniques, and strategies for promoting social-emotional development. I also taught a Child Development course to upcoming teachers. Most recently, I have delivered aspects of the Healing Hearts and Building Resilience (Trauma Series) to teachers and the Peaceful Practices to both parents and children. I also continue to coach preschool teachers on various aspects of quality improvement, including meaningful interactions and developmentally appropriate social-emotional skills. I hold a Master of Science in Early Childhood from Erikson Institute as well as a Level III Infant Mental Health Specialist Endorsement and a certification in Reflective Supervision and Consultation from the New Jersey Association for Infant Mental Health.

Gina Hernandez

Gina Hernandez, MA, LPC, CCTP, ACS was appointed by the Board to the position of Executive Director of Prevent Child Abuse-New Jersey and the Child Wellness Institute in April 2021 and promoted to CEO and Executive Director in 2024. Gina has extensive experience in nonprofit leadership, clinical services and program evaluation.

Gina joined the staff of PCA-NJ in 2005 and worked in a variety of roles throughout the agency. As Senior Vice President for 7 years, she was responsible for development, oversight and evaluation of all prevention programs, now serving more than 60,000 families. She has been published for her research as a co-principal investigator in several publications including the Journal of Nutrition Education and Behavior and Prevention Science for her work on addressing maternal depression and substance use disorders. In 2018, Gina was recognized as “A Woman of Achievement” by the New Jersey State Federation of Women’s Clubs for her dedication, commitment and extraordinary work on behalf of children and families in New Jersey.

Also under Gina’s leadership, the Child Wellness Institute (ChildWIN) was created in 2019 to assist and support even more children and families. It was designed to offer healing centered and resilience building skills to professionals, children and families in New Jersey and beyond. To date, ChildWIN has partnered with more than 30 schools statewide and is working to expand its services.

Prior to PCA-NJ, Gina worked at the Edison Job Corps Academy and Alternatives, Inc in Somerset County and continues to volunteer at several nonprofits throughout the state. She started her career in television and radio broadcasting at WMGM-TV in South Jersey.

Gina has a BA in Communications, an MA in Counseling and is a Licensed Professional Counselor. She is also a Certified Infant Massage Instructor, holds a Certificate in Play Therapy and earned a Post Masters Certificate in Trauma: Clinical Foundations. She is a co-developer of the Trauma Transformation Initiative and co-author of the Healing Hearts and Building Resilience curriculum.

Robin Happonen

Robin Happonen has been in the Early Childhood field for 20 years. She joined PCA-NJ in 2017 and is currently the Senior Technical Assistance Specialist with the Grow NJ Kids Northeast TA Center working in Hudson County. She is also a member of ChildWIN and assisted with the development of both the Trauma Team Initiative and the Peaceful Practices Guidebook. Prior to joining Grow NJ Kids, Robin worked as an elementary school teacher and preschool teacher. She has a BA in Elementary Education and a MA in Child Advocacy.

Kim Haigh

Kimberly Haigh has been serving the Early Care and Education field for over 25 years. Her work for various organizations and agencies include the Department of Defense, Bright Horizons Family Solutions and Duke University where she has developed and presented trainings for early childhood educators. Kim joined PCA-NJ and ChildWIN in 2015 and has since delivered Trauma Informed trainings to Early Childhood staff, elementary teachers, after school staff, and administrators, while also developing a training is Social Emotional Learning (SEL) for educators. Kim earned her BA in Education and Psychology and her MA in Child and Family Studies; she has also completed a 20-month intensive fellowship for Infant and Toddler Mental Health at Montclair State University.